Well not the most inspired or well written title but how else could I put it?
I’ve been shopping around for gardening supplies and have found some pretty cool stuff. And now I want it.
These days you can garden and still maintain your cool sensibilities. Now while many of these items will never make it to my humble garden it is nice to dream.
Combat Garden Gnome (in prone position with M-16)
I like the idea of this little guy keeping the thieves at bay in our absence. He and his pal here (say hello to my little friend) would maintain a sense of whimsy and martial law at the same time that ordinary woodland gnomes just can’t handle.
Thorsson & Associates Workshop has a full (and fully armed) line of gnomes on its Etsy site we are currently looking at. I’m curious whether they come with their own ghillie suits or if you have to buy them separately?
This serves little to no purpose other than it being pretty cool. You can shoot time-lapse stills of your garden throughout the season and create a movie of your efforts. You could also use it as another security feature to ensure you know exactly which of your neighbours is stealing your tomatoes when you aren’t around. Handy.
OK so I am not sure how to get this one other than to hire a decent mason but they are always busy what with their secret meetings and ruling the world and what not. Apparently in Washington DC at the National Cathedral if you look closely you can find a gargoyle carved as the evil sith lord himself. Thus proving worship of Star Wars is indeed a recognized religion. And hey, wouldn’t it be cool in my garden? I was thinking more of a Yoda downspout but you have to start somewhere.
It’s tricky to rock a rhyme but its even tricky to rhyme without these rocks in your garden. They seem to be as elusive to find as their woodland gnome counterparts but I’m on the hunt.
And if you have never heard of Run DMC it’s time to start your education.
This speech is my recital, I think it’s very vital…
According to the folks at SuckUK, these hand bombs can be chucked into any desolate wasteland you might have on your property and in a week or two you’ll get some nice wildflowers. This seems a little more like a product for the urban warrior gardeners of Parkdale but perhaps we can stir it up in Buckhorn as well. However seeing as this is a UK company it might be a bit of sticky wicket trying to get grenade-shaped plant holders across international borders.
I’m not sure who or what will make it to our garden but I can’t wait to find out!
MySchoolhouseRocks 